Think about this scenario:
You have a "free lunch" coupon for McDonalds. You go there, and there are NO prices up on the board, just food choices. You order just a hamburger, nothing else. McD's comes back with a shake, fries, and an apple pie, saying that you really want to eat all this together. Since you have a free lunch coupon, you figure what the hell and eat the entire meal. After you're all done, they say that your free lunch coupon works only for the burger, and that you're going to have to pay for everything else out of your pocket, and that will be $55. You say that if you had known that, you would've gone to Wendy's across the street, as it's only $5 there. Now, does that make any sense whatsoever? That's our health system - insane.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Beware of Amazon Marketplace Scammers
So, I'm selling some of my camera lenses on Amazon.com. My most expensive lens, the Canon 17-55 f/2.8 was one of them. So, I got this email from a prospective buyer. As you would expect, I was pretty excited to try to unload this one. The request (through Amazon's mailer):
Well, my buddy Dr. F taught me how to handle these a-holes, and so I responded:
"Superb item"will puchase today if photo is received to my addy only"kizzmenf4@ ya h o o . com....So, naturally I replied with some photos to the guy's yahoo.com address and then I got this as a response, along with an official-looking Amazon.com email that listed the record of the sale:
The Nigeria address raised a red flag, and when I went to Amazon.com's seller marketplace, there was no record of a purchase. Clever scammer...Hello Seller,
I've recently made and complete your payment and i'll like you get my order shipped express mail service from the post office to the below address and get back to me with the shipment tracking reference number. Please do not include the price of the item on the package due to heavy custom charges here in Nigeria, pack it as a gift item only and you can value it under 300 dollars if compulsary.
Mr Frank Mero
8, anibel street
Oworonsoki
Lagos
23401
Nigeria
Regards
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in Advance
Frank
Well, my buddy Dr. F taught me how to handle these a-holes, and so I responded:
Let the fun begin...Frank,
Since you requested a photo of the item, I as a seller, also request that I get a photo of my buyer as well before sending the item. It's a little practice that I've done before that helps me get to know my sellers better. We here at the kmiller15211 Amazon selling marketplace find that we're really a tight family, and I like to get my buyers to know each other so that you all order from me again.
PS I prefer that you wear a blue shirt in the photo and maybe do something nice with your hair.
- Kurt
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Your 2011 Fantasy Football Amy TooMuchWinehouses
1. (7) Rashard Mendenhall RB
Complete and utter dumbass - Rashard BinMendenladen. But I expect the Steeler O to be good this year and him to be a major contributor. Without his Champion deal getting in the way, he's in good shape.
2. (18) Tom Brady QB
I certainly didn't draft guys I liked, because Brady is a douche of the highest order. Just win baby! With OchoStinko, I hope the offense is good (but not too good because I hate the Patriots).
3. (31) Dwayne Bowe WR
Hope he has another big season. Liked him in Hard Knocks when he was a rookie.
4. (42) Ryan Grant RB
A risky pick because he isn't a guarantee, but their offense is so good, I hope they try to balance it out a bit this year.
5. (55) Ryan Mathews RB
Total suckfest last year when he was projected high, I hope he pulls it together this year. Little quick guys that can catch do very well in Turkeyneck Norv Turner's system.
6. (66) Percy Harvin WR
Get this sucka some aspirin and get him out there. May be a lot of throwing with McSnack at the helm.
7. (79) Dallas Clark TE
Has a skeleton made of Charlie Batch material, but puts up big numbers when he's not peeing sitting down.
8. (90) Sidney Rice WR
Another risky pick, especially since Tavaris Jackson couldn't read a defense it was a book with big letters. And pictures. And phonetically sounded out. Hell, he probably can't read flash cards.
9. (103) Joseph Addai RB
Another hopeful since he's on such a dynamic offense. Good late round pick.
10. (114) Roy Helu RB
Have I mentioned that I'm picking risky guys this year, going all out?
11. (127) Kyle Orton QB
Looks dumb. Plays well.
12. (138) Michael Crabtree WR
Needs to show some potential this year with total disaster Alex Smith at QB.
13. (151) Dallas DEF
Demarcus Ware!
14. (162) Rob Bironas K
I needed a kicker. I like that I quietly sing "My Cherona" to myself every time I hear his hame.
Complete and utter dumbass - Rashard BinMendenladen. But I expect the Steeler O to be good this year and him to be a major contributor. Without his Champion deal getting in the way, he's in good shape.
2. (18) Tom Brady QB
I certainly didn't draft guys I liked, because Brady is a douche of the highest order. Just win baby! With OchoStinko, I hope the offense is good (but not too good because I hate the Patriots).
3. (31) Dwayne Bowe WR
Hope he has another big season. Liked him in Hard Knocks when he was a rookie.
4. (42) Ryan Grant RB
A risky pick because he isn't a guarantee, but their offense is so good, I hope they try to balance it out a bit this year.
5. (55) Ryan Mathews RB
Total suckfest last year when he was projected high, I hope he pulls it together this year. Little quick guys that can catch do very well in Turkeyneck Norv Turner's system.
6. (66) Percy Harvin WR
Get this sucka some aspirin and get him out there. May be a lot of throwing with McSnack at the helm.
7. (79) Dallas Clark TE
Has a skeleton made of Charlie Batch material, but puts up big numbers when he's not peeing sitting down.
8. (90) Sidney Rice WR
Another risky pick, especially since Tavaris Jackson couldn't read a defense it was a book with big letters. And pictures. And phonetically sounded out. Hell, he probably can't read flash cards.
9. (103) Joseph Addai RB
Another hopeful since he's on such a dynamic offense. Good late round pick.
10. (114) Roy Helu RB
Have I mentioned that I'm picking risky guys this year, going all out?
11. (127) Kyle Orton QB
Looks dumb. Plays well.
12. (138) Michael Crabtree WR
Needs to show some potential this year with total disaster Alex Smith at QB.
13. (151) Dallas DEF
Demarcus Ware!
14. (162) Rob Bironas K
I needed a kicker. I like that I quietly sing "My Cherona" to myself every time I hear his hame.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Twitter Sucks... Stop Using It
This has really been bothering me for a while now, so I figured I'd blog about it and let it all out.
Twitter is popular for one reason and one reason only: People get a big stiffy from telling others that they "tweeted" and they feel like they're part of an exclusive club. "Oh I tweeted... I'm so proud of my self. This is just ginormous! I gotta tell my BFF". There's really no other reason for it. It's cute - you're like a bird up in a tree, muttering mindless crap. It's about as douchey as using air quotes every other sentence. Facebook somehow has the stigma of being for teenage girls bitching and complaining about their problems, and Twitter has this 'cool' perception. Lemme tell you, this is a bunch of shit. You may be saying "Hey, you have a Twitter account"?! True, but I do for one reason - so that I can see stuff that's written by people that I'm interested in; those that haven't seen the light yet. Come cleanse yourselves in the waters of Facebook (or Minnetonka!) and leave Twitter for Facebook today!
The 140 character limit makes you be creative
What a bunch of horseshit. Twitter limits you to an old cell phone messaging standard, and people somehow buy into the thought that this is for people's benefit, and that it makes Twitter better? "Oh wah, you have to be creative because it limits you." Oh come on. That's like saying everyone should be speaking in Latin because it makes you be creative because everything is harder to read and understand. No, it doesn't make you more creative, it handcuffs you. Full control of word count can certainly make some morons drone on for months when they should have stopped about how their job sucks and how they wish for midget love, but that doesn't make you more creative. A bunch of third parties (yfrog, tinyurl) had to create tools for you if you wanted to link to something just to get around this limitation for posting long links and eating up your golden 140 characters. Unreal why people don't call this like they see it - ITS A PRODUCT LIMITATION!!!
Twitter is popular for one reason and one reason only: People get a big stiffy from telling others that they "tweeted" and they feel like they're part of an exclusive club. "Oh I tweeted... I'm so proud of my self. This is just ginormous! I gotta tell my BFF". There's really no other reason for it. It's cute - you're like a bird up in a tree, muttering mindless crap. It's about as douchey as using air quotes every other sentence. Facebook somehow has the stigma of being for teenage girls bitching and complaining about their problems, and Twitter has this 'cool' perception. Lemme tell you, this is a bunch of shit. You may be saying "Hey, you have a Twitter account"?! True, but I do for one reason - so that I can see stuff that's written by people that I'm interested in; those that haven't seen the light yet. Come cleanse yourselves in the waters of Facebook (or Minnetonka!) and leave Twitter for Facebook today!
God Dammit, just let me see what he's linking to!!!!!
Typical Twitter post:
GuyIFollow: Wow!!! y.frog./boo/5y63c
WTF? With the normal Twitter app (I haven't checked TweetDeck and others) I have to now click on the link to see what they're talking about? Same goes for replies - I love seeing other's comments on something, why do I have to click to see that? What technology is this using, leftover code from 1985? Facebook gives me a nice little thumbnail to summarize the link so I can determine if it's worth my time clicking it or not. I gotta get back to my web surfing on What Would Tyler Durden Do for pictures of accidental celebrity snatch revelation, I don't have time to be clicking all of these dumb links from Twitter people. It's unbelievable that anyone would put up with this, it's garbage. On top of that, it's probably a bit dangerous to provide links to just random content.
The 140 character limit makes you be creative
What a bunch of horseshit. Twitter limits you to an old cell phone messaging standard, and people somehow buy into the thought that this is for people's benefit, and that it makes Twitter better? "Oh wah, you have to be creative because it limits you." Oh come on. That's like saying everyone should be speaking in Latin because it makes you be creative because everything is harder to read and understand. No, it doesn't make you more creative, it handcuffs you. Full control of word count can certainly make some morons drone on for months when they should have stopped about how their job sucks and how they wish for midget love, but that doesn't make you more creative. A bunch of third parties (yfrog, tinyurl) had to create tools for you if you wanted to link to something just to get around this limitation for posting long links and eating up your golden 140 characters. Unreal why people don't call this like they see it - ITS A PRODUCT LIMITATION!!!
The creators are idiots
Shortened URLs? Hash tags? Automatic URL shortening? What do these all have in common? None of them were originally thought of by the Twitter team. All of the new features have been created by the community doing it on their own first and then Twitter is slowly putting them into the real product. It's like someone took AIM and customized it. Nothing more... "But, they're making a lot more money than you". "Yeah, so is Ke$ha, but you're not going to call her a musical genius, are you?".
Anyone can see anything
There is absolutely no security on Twitter. You can view anyone's ramblings that you want. I happen to have a liking to crude humor (obviously) and dick jokes. That's all I need when I enter my next job interview:
Them: I saw on your Twitter feed that you said some horrible things about Khloe Kardashian
Me: Oh, I was just trying to be funny
Me: Oh, I was just trying to be funny
Them: Well, that's not the sort of thing we want here at Intertrode
Me: But, I can code pretty.
Them: Thank you for your time.
Wonderful.... I don't want anyone being able to see my random ramblings (and yes, this is on a public blog, but oh well).
So yeah, enough with that Twitter thing. It's a technical piece of shit. Use Facebook, block the people that are boohooing that their life sucks and enjoy.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Fantasy Football 2010 - Team: Cromartie's Daycare
Cromartie's Day Care
1. (4) Drew Brees
My keeper from last year, it was between him and Randy Moss. I think Brees has a higher upside.
2. (21) Miles Austin - A bit of a stretch in round 2 for a complete unknown last year, but was the highest rated player available when I did pick. Fitzgerald, Ryan Grant, etc. were all gone by the time I picked. Has funny teeth.
3. (28) Jahvid Best - I was probably drinking the Yahoo Kool Aid on this one, they really loved this guy.
4. (45) LeSean McCoy - Great value picking down this far. I typically like drafting players on good units (I passed over Calvin Johnson earlier in the draft for fear of double/triple coverages), and this is no exception.
5. (52) Chad Ochocinco - The great value continues. I would think he could avoid some of the double coverages with TO on the other side. My only fear is that the Bungles will run the ball a very high percentage of the time.
6. (69) Owen Daniels - Was a stud last year until he got hurt. Since I had the WR/RB positions full, I took a little chance on him. I do love the Texans' offense in general, and I think that Andre Johnson and the RBs that they have will open it up for him.
7. (76) Marion Barber - More great value late in the draft, only fear is Felix Jones getting a lot of the carries. I'm thinking that the 'Boys offense will very good this year.
8. (93) Sidney Rice - in all honesty, I totally forgot he was hurt. In checking out the average draft slot, he was much higher than this (I think he was in the 40's), which means that most Yahoo users don't know that he's hurt either. Since he's on the bench anyways, I still like the pick.
9. (100) T.J. Houshmandzadeh - Very consistent.
10. (117) LaDainian Tomlinson - Probably one of my favorite picks for the pick #. I still think he has potential to bust out the 2008 form.
11. (124) Kellen Winslow - More depth at TE, but that Tampa offense scares me.
12. (141) Matthew Stafford - Loving the upside for him, especially this late in the draft. I'm hoping that Brees will play the whole season, so I shouldn't have to play him that much. Probably good trade bait.
13. (148) David Akers - Yeah, I needed a kicker.
14. (165) Tennessee - Took over Indy's D just because of their bye week.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Another Mike Tomlin Gem
This guy is ridiculous. He says he's worried about Big Ben personally and the franchise, and when asked what he means by that, here's his answer:
Read more: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10082/1044890-455.stm#ixzz0izx6RvKR
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Mike Tomlin Press Conference
(Note: This is an homage to Kissing Suzy Kolber, who do this sort of thing all the time)
[After 20 minutes of pushing on a door that says "PULL", Tomlin enters room with a Mad Magazine wrapped in a Dostoyevsky Crime and Punishment book cover]
Tomlin: This week, our defense atrophied in the 4th quarter the likes of which I've never seen. Ike Taylor's interceptational abilities are an undesired and unwanted solution to my desired perpetuation of the offense's skillfullness to move the ball horizontally. And dat one interception by Ben was thrown into tri-defender coverage - he was trying to make a splash play and it turned into a cataclysm of unforeseen and nonfortunate events. Questions?
Reporter #1: What's the status on William Gay?
Tomlin: William sustained a sudden impact to his Medulla Oblongata. A hematomal bypass, if you will. [pauses, purses lips] uhh... I doubt he'll be a contributing factor to this Thursday's contest.
Reporter #2: What's the status on Troy Polamalu for this Thursday's game against Cleveland?
Tomlin: Troy's availability is still a great unquantified level of agreement between us. The knee has been downgraded in quality. It's resisting our medical attempts to improve its condition.
Reporter #3: How do you feel about your chances in making the playoffs?
Tomlin: The playoffs are a mysterious and unforeseen turn of events that may be brought on only by an immediate end to our uneventful forays into the athletic forum. At this point, our non-exemplary reactions to an offensive stimulus are lackluster, and are the main source of our anguish.
Reporter #4: Why did you go for it on that one 4th down play instead of kicking the field goal?
Tomlin: [sharts] Oooh, a gastrointestinal infarction of undesired odor from my turgid small intestine. I require an outfit transitional period, starting immediately henceforth. [Exits room walking gingerly]
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