Fantasy Football 2009: Team Blumpkin Pie

So, here's my fantasy football roster for this year, in order of how I drafted them (# pick overall):
1. (6) Drew Brees
Brees was my keeper from last season, where he racked up the #1 score overall, throwing to the likes of Pierre Thomas. Hopefully, this year Reggie Bush will not hurt his knee climbing Mount Kardashian Ass and he'll do even better. I'll bet his mole on it!

2. (19) Randy Moss
With his BFF Tom Brady back, Moss is poised to have a big season. That's a bingo!




3. (30) Reggie Bush
Soooo talented... soooo frail. Made in Taiwan. It's a good sign that he has lots of games on turf and/or good weather this year. Should score a ton. Oh, and he should have a lot of touchdowns too.


4. (43) Ronnie Brown
Runs the Wildcat, and I don't mean Goldie Hawn. He was the best available RB in the 4th round and I've heard good reports about him being healthy. May challenge Wesley Snipes as the blackest man alive.


5. (54) Marshawn Lynch
When arriving in Buffalo, was disappointed "Bills" meant Buffalo. Hoping to lead the league in Ho Punchin'. Is suspended for the first 3 games of the year, but after that I expect him to explode on the scene... or get arrested, one or the other.

6. (67) Brandon Marshall
Pissy little baby with good hands. With our league adding .5 point per catch, this should help out. Seems like a steal in the 6th round, but we'll see if he mopes his way onto my s&*t list. Josh McDaniels' master plan of destroying one of the best offensive teams in the league is almost complete.

7. (78) Minnesota
Note to the Vikings D line - read the effing label! Have been solid performers in the past, and the Minnesota ball-possession offense with Peterson should help. Unless old hillbilly 'I'm playing the position the way it's meant to be played' Favre throws picks all day.

8. (91) Owen Daniels
Had him last year; Couldn't find the endzone with a Garmin. But, the .5 PPC, should help.




9. (102) Tim Hightower
Loved him in the Police Academy movies. Is now #1 on the depth chart with Edge gone off to the senior center and he having beaten out Beanie Wells. That's good, because if you lose your starting job to someone named Beanie, maybe it's time to hang it up. I've been hearing good things, so I'll keep my hopes up.

10. (115) Joe Flacco
Unibrowtastic wonder in 1st season. Plays in a ball-possession offense, which isn't good. Good defense might help them get the ball more often. Should be a solid backup for me if Brees' mole turns on him.


11. (126...) Rob Bironas
Can't hear this name without hearing the song My Sharona in my head. So, he's got that going for him... which is nice.

12. (139) Domenik Hixon. After hearing reports that he can't catch a cold in the preseason and was in danger of losing his starting job, I dropped him and picked up Josh Morgan of the 49ers, who, I've heard is a great sleeper pick. Hopefully Coach Mike Singletary will use the pants dropping technique to motive the men this year.

13. (150) Seattle
I like the idea of having two defenses so that I can always play the one defense that happens to be playing the Lions.